Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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