even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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