Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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