Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
