I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
