I seem to have left my pride at pride
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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