I wish I could teleport
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize