i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
