I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
