At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
