the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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