There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize