I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.