I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey