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im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
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