i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her