But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?