at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
