You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
