Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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