you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
