You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
