You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I supernannyed him into submission
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
