Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
