i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
