Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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