it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
