I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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