His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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