I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
