it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
