Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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