This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
