did you get engaged???
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
