tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We named our party play list daddy issues
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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