her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
