Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I love having hate sex.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
