I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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