last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
