alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
