Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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