White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
