I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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