I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
