i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize