is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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