Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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