i already hear my dad disowning me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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