Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Randomize
