Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
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He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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