Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
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Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
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Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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