so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize