He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
