8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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