sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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