I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
