I think I am morally bankrupt
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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