i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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