Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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