we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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